Subtitle: Adventures in Human Sexuality Class.
For the reading of this, might I suggest the following tune? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIuuE_phQNM the video will also add to the ambiance.
Before I begin this story, please allow me to explain I never have had a "crash course" in sexuality. Catholic schools refrain from teaching their students about testicles, boobs, or any other type of sexual anatomy--- which actually, now that I think about it, may be why I still giggle at the term "balls" no matter the context it is used.
Anyway, being that this is my first class in Sexuality, I hate to miss this class. I walked in a little bit late today to find a giant blow up testicle on the screen. I smirked as I heard the word testie. (Also keep in mind, as I have never had this course before, many of these terms will be misspelled.)
Crap, I thought to myself, as I had to sit in the very last row next to the overweight gum chewer popping and smacking away (my number 1 pet peeve). This part of my life reminded me of Mean Girls when they made Lindsay Lohan sit behind the kid who farts as punishment for being a bitch. My punishment was for being late. But anyway... I start to think about testicles at just about the time the teacher asked, "Any questions?"
Without a thought in my mind, I raised my hand.
"Yes? You in the back..."
"I remember once I read an article in Cosmopolitan that stated that if you pull on a guy's ball sack while they are ejaculating then their orgasim enhances by about 200%... is that true?"
Never in my entire life have I experienced the following phenomena: 75 students turn around, mouths agape for a few minutes, and then all burst out laughing. A friend of mine, who normally sits next to me but seeing as how i was late he was a few rows ahead of me, turns around and yells, "So Steph, what are you doing later?" And the laughter started again.
I am sure there will be more blogs like this to follow. There are 2 more instances from that class alone that would make top 10 embarassing moments, but I will save those for another date. I have to get ready, it's my friend's 21st birthday tonight and I need to shower.
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4 comments:
hahaha oh my gosh! what did the teacher say?
i love your stories. you better post those other ones soon!!!
I might have to try that later... although I fear that it might be too complicated to pull off by myself.
You write very well.
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