Beat my brain with a Brick Walllll

Considering my last posting was a complete drunken mess, this one will be both informative and self-explanatory.

I HAVE MY FIRST REAL JOB.
And thus, a fair amount of stories to go with this new chapter of my life.
I don't know why they refer to this as a "new chapter," in my opinion this is a brand new effing book... (more to come on the book by the way)

Let's start with my office. (There will be a fair amount of description in this paragraph).

Imagine the movie Tommy Boy. The area of the office is a dump; a loveable dump, but a dump nonetheless. It has its own shipping dock, offices and manufacturing area. Kind of like my office, only imagine a place where wood panelling has gone to die and crickets chirp all day long. These crickets are not your average crickets either, they are Jimminy Cricket on Crickety-Crack! They are the biggest crickets I have ever seen.

The people I work with are hilarious though. I will describe them in detail:

Debbie- Shipping/Front Desk: refers to herself as "office slut of the past". I hope she is not incinuating I am office slut of the future... Anyway, she is about 5'8 and wears cut off t-shirts and jorts almost on the daily. Recently, she has been wearing jeans though. It has gotten a little chilly these past few days. But she has an incredibly raspy voice, and she insists on making crude jokes constantly. (They are funny, but majorly inappropriate.)

Dave- Tech Support/Credit Card order guy: I refer to him as "Yoda" because the man knows everything. Occasionally Dave leaves me comics on my desk in the morning. He is nice, but insensitive to the fact that I don't understand how to make a spreadsheet in excel. The rest of the office calls him "Uncle Fester" because he is an angry bald man who is incredibly witty... I guess I can see the connection.

Denise- Got Fired: Has a BAD attitude. This was the kind lady who trained me. After being rejected from the Sales Office, where I rightfully should be, they placed me in an office with Denise. The boys (Andy and Christian), like to refer to her as Big D. She was a middle-aged, half balding woman whom had the most outrageous gas problem I have ever encountered. But she got fired due to her attitude problem with customers who call in. Come to find out after she left and all of her emails began coming directly to my inbox, she had been playing "Big fish games" at her desk all day. Literally that woman did nothing except fart and talk on the phone. If you would like to hear more Denise stories, respond to this blog.

There are a bunch of other people at work worthy of my commentary, but it's Saturday and I don't really feel much like talking about them. I have a bunch more stories to tell about my love life and job, so stay tuned. Now that I remember my email address and password, this should be a regular occurence yet again.